What if ........

CHAPTER IV

Deep down inside I don't wanna do this. I am really afraid of growing up. I really don't know what to do from now on. I am so afraid of failing and falling. What if I don't make enough money this month ? What if all my toys and my confidence all take a big dive. What if my precious Transformers all of a sudden become worthless pieces of plastics ? What if I don't make this months Credit Card Payments ? What if after i tried my best and still failed to woo the girl of my dreams ? What if ....

For the pass couple of weeks I been living in total irresponsibility. I haven't been doing much of anything really. Playing WOW, eating out, Movies, Gambling, loitering and having fun. Living a life of a teenager. Deep down I am just an overgrown child. Many of us are until that one event strike us where it hurts most and we just wake up. SO I don't know when will my event hit me but my parents consistently remind me to grow up. I thought I would by adding on some of my parents responsibilities onto myself. But it looks like it wasn't enough. I still need to figure out ways of "waking up".

I didn't think that submitting and obeying and conforming to the rule of life would be this difficult. Now i can slowly understand why people say what they say. not all but some. Many things that is done I myself don't really know why I do them. Probably

GG